ZT：感恩节笑话几则

湖畔居士

感恩节了，转几个感恩节的笑话吧。呵呵。。。
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Happy Thanksgiving Holiday – Everyone!

【1】感恩节来临，班上同学举办诗歌朗诵会。一个男生读道：“谁的恩情比天高？”
马上有同学说：“这要去问宇航员，是谁帮助他做到了比登天还难的事。”
朗读诗歌的同学瞪了一眼继续读：“谁的恩情比海深？”
那个同学接着说：“这要问来自沿海的同学。”



【2】. 那天，我拨通了家里的电话，正好是我妈接的。于是我说：“妈，您辛苦了，谢谢您给了我生命，又把我抚养大， 天气慢慢变泠了，您多注意身体，多多保重，女儿想您……”没等说完，电话那头传来妈的哽咽声，然后她哇的一声哭了——半小时后，老爸打我手机，焦急地说：“闺女，你跟你妈说什么了，是不是出事了?她不停地哭，怎么劝都劝不住……”


【3】. 我给妈妈发短信说：感谢你的养育之恩。

但是我发成了：“老媽，今天是感恩節。妳對我的養魚之恩我无以言表。會一直為妳祈福”我妈回短信问我什么养鱼之恩。。。

去年我给她的短信是：“妈妈你对我的大恩大德我这辈子还不清了，下辈子做牛做马，我 给你喂草。”

然后我妈今天发短信说：今年你不给我喂草了么?

哈哈哈。笑死我了!


【4】. 昨天陪媳妇去做头发，卷好头发正等待中，媳妇突然接到她局长的一条祝福短信，关于感恩节的，我们大叫，今天是感恩节????，我当即表示，快把短信转给我，让我给几个朋友发下。我发的时候还专门给一些比较重要的领导都发了下，可是奇怪的是，发出去的都没有回音，正纳闷，一个短信终于来了，一个妹妹的：感恩节是昨天呀，哥哥，你的生物钟该调了。天哪，我可是每个领导都发了呀。。。。。


【5】. 那天下班前，接到女友的电话：“今天是感恩节，我亲自下厨，请你吃大餐。”激动啊，幸福啊……不顾老板要求加班的命令，克服堵车、路远的重重困难，终于准时出现在女友家中——咦!饭桌上摆的是什么呀?女友跑过来，表功似的说：“你看，感恩节不是要吃烧鸡吗，这只我已经涂满了果浆……”


【6】. 那天，教师宿舍楼来了很多学生，他们带着鲜花、南瓜向老师表示感谢。王教授家里的人尤其多。王教授高兴地接受了学生的礼物，乐得合不拢嘴。然后他说：“好了，现在可以说你们的目的了，都有谁觉得自己及不了格?”


【7】. 那天，小文在公文纸上写下：“感谢帮助过我的同事和所有的朋友们!”然后出去了，回来后发现纸上密密麻麻地写满了字：“自己人，说感谢就见外了!”“你也帮过我，咱俩扯平了!”“有什么表示啊，小文?”“为什么不感谢扫楼道的大妈?”“嘿嘿，没帮过什么忙，也被感谢，赚了!”“今天好像不是愚人节呀?”“学生气!太酸!”“我是老板，为什么不感谢我?”……


【8】. 那天，跑了十几公里去看几个老乡，给他们带了好瓶酒和一些小菜。饭间，郑重其事地说，这几年弟兄几个没少帮忙，小弟感激不尽，来，敬几位一杯。哥儿几个没喝，而是异口同声地问：“兄弟，是不是钱又不够了?”


【9】. 那天，我和同学找了一台摄像机，打算拍一部名叫《感恩节》的DV短片。校园里，我们碰到一身材高挑的美女。镜头对准她，问她有没有要感谢的人。美女张口就说：“首先，我要感谢中央电视台给我这个机会。”(我开始冒汗)她继续说：“感谢全国的观众朋友，我一定不会辜负大家的支持。”(我大汗)“感谢各位评委，在年底的舞蹈比赛上……”我急忙打断她，声明我们不是中央电视台，也不是北京电视台、天津电视台等任何一家电视台的……结果，我们在美女刀子般锐利的目光中逃离现场……


【10】. 话说今天是美国的感恩节，学校放假。赵括没什么打算，照例早早来到研究室。同研究室有个女生，一向来得比较早，打个招呼。不久前买了些栗子，自己做好后带来研究室让大家尝鲜。正和她说话呢，有两个同学来了。他们本打算去纽约游玩，我一看：“哟，还没走啊?”

“括哥，能不能打印个东西?”其中一个一脸严肃。

这里做个说明，这学期老师让我搬到个新的研究室来，我来这个研究室还没多长时间，有些东西还没弄妥当。我的电脑连不上研究室的打印机，自然是爱莫能助：“没办法，你去让那个师姐帮帮忙。”

那两个小子神情诡异，无奈地去找那个女生帮忙，我接着在西西河冒泡儿。没几分钟，就听那个女生哈哈大笑起来：“哈哈，你们打印的是脱衣舞的Coupon啊?!”

我这泡儿当然也冒不成了，赶快去看看热闹。那女生笑声未绝：“2012年12月31日到期，还是过期的!

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