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老钱:“长不大”的中文学校 [复制链接]

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只看楼主 正序阅读 使用道具 楼主   发表于: 2011-12-19
   “长不大”的中文学校
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窝里斗的源由
老钱
12/10/2011 =I2@/,  
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中文学校ACCA起来了,而且公开,激烈,史无前例。双方都有我的朋友和熟人,过去都有所了解。虽然,我已淡出这滩江湖多年,可是,盘根错 节,丝丝缕缕,斩不断,理还乱。我总是能听到各种细细节节。所以,对这些年,这些事,这些是是非非,还能基本了然。过去,我们斗争再激烈,也还能顾着大面 子,蒙在理事会里,窝里斗。这次都蒙不住了。过去,再怎么斗,家长的MailingList/家长伊妹儿群发集,尽管有偶尔的被不懂规矩的人滥用过两次,还能基本保持清静。我们有过约定,家长的MailingList,应该是只用于学校的运作;我们把它当作一条高压线。所以,离漩涡中心远一点的家长,踮着脚尖,也看不明白。这次,家长的MailingList直接就是Arena/角斗场。这样用MailingList不是好做法;但是,一下子就把事情全部公开给广大家长了。而且,双方对等地用,不是一面之词,也让窝里斗公开透明了。也好,让明事理的人都可以做判断。但是,此法最好不用。长此以往,校将不校了。 最好是在Atlanta168上,或是ACCA的网页上Forum/论坛上公开,留着MailingList只用于学校的运作 R (G2qi  
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最近,已看到这次争斗的论战已上了传统平面谋体。如果能对等,一视同仁,倒也不失为一个公开,透明的好方法。 华文谋体应该起到社区的舆论监督功能,否则不配叫谋体。 O|QUNr9  
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记得我在20052004年底)刚进入理事会时,就面临着一个尖锐严重的局面:几乎让这个中文学校“放不下一张平静的书桌”。那就是校长无故地要开革一个受多数教师和家长支持的副校长。教师们,家长们,纷纷拍案而起,全校在沸腾。当时,我们没有立即用理事会的最高决策权去简单处理冲 突。而是召开了全校家长的公开听证会,让双方不辩论,只各自的公开让广大家长了解情况后,理事会再做决定。就这样,我们否决了校长的决定。会后,一个家长立刻跟我非常感慨地说:“中文学校长大了”。是的,如果中文学校能够用民主公开的方法处理我们事务中的分歧,能够尊重大多数愿意,事情就会好办得多。那次公开听证会是中文学校历史上的第一次。可惜,哪位家长兴奋得太早了,中文学校并没有因此长大。虽然,“身体”在不断膨胀长大,可以“心智”没能随之发育长大。自那过去,56年了,仍然是陷在“猪圈”一样的污泥浊水里,无章无规地混斗。 &VDl/qnaL  
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如果不能学会民主公开处理分歧,尊重并按大多数愿意的办事的话,中文学校总是会争斗不已。一帮子胜利了,过些时候,又会有新的窝里斗产生。或是发掘出了新对手,或自己又分裂开来斗。不幸,这几年,就是一遍一遍地重复着我的悲观言。   i3#'*7f%j  
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在这风风雨雨中,辛好有一个忠诚的教职员工的团队,不管天上乌云如何翻腾,都在坚守着教学运作,也给这些窝里斗支撑着一个舞台。 e}c&LDgU  
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这个中文学校是一伙念念不忘自己的文化根基,又小气抠门的炎黄子孙,集近二十年的智慧和心血凝聚而成的。 能发展到这样的规模,这样功能齐全,我为之骄傲。这个中文学校确实这个社区的宝贵资产。别的组织都可有可无,这个学校却不可有可无的。所以,一旦这个学校有新闻,立刻会在很多的饭桌上,聚会上掀起波澜。因为太多的家庭与人士,和这个学校有着剪不断理还乱的,实际上的和情感上的联系了。 6B0# 4Qrv  
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当我们来到这块“新大陆”之前,我们都已经饱浸中华文化。我们都是优秀的学生,从幼儿园到研究院,所以更是深得 精髓,爱得不能舍割。我们不愿意看到,我们的宝贵的文化传统在我们的第二代断了铉,息了香火。第三代是管不到了。第二代我们是一定要管的。最起码,中文汉语也是 一笔珍贵的财富。在这样的华人家庭,这样的华人社区,这么浓厚的文化氛围里,坚持一点,孩子们就能听说中文再加这么一点劲,再添这么一点神,简单的读。不指望他们能学多好。万一将来需要时,这点童子功也是一个基础。多一点不同文化,思路就会开阔一点,何乐而不为之呢。美国就是一个 化大熔炉,也特别提倡多元文化。我们为何不积极贡献,弘扬我们的文化?再这样做会为孩子们将来添加一点竞争的能力,特殊的 技能。技不压身嘛。 l3.  
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所以,我们聚到一起,就忍不住地要琢磨,我们能不能合起来,办个什么班的,给孩子们教点中文。这么一来,凡是有足够华人的地方,就会出现中文学校。 T-'~?[v  
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可是,我们也不会出太大的代价,花太大的力气。中文毕竟不是在美国生存的必要条件。传授中文的困难达到一定程度,我们也只能放弃。我们只能办周末中文学校。既然是周末中文学,就带来了很多限制条件。这样的学校必须是办在我们集中居住的区域。“孔子学院”不能解决我们华人的需求。那是宁愿为洋人做冤大头,也不会深入华人社区的。那只能是统制者的意淫,自慰的器具。这里,也很难让资本运作起来,因为只有周末才运作。再则,我们同胞就喜欢讨便宜,贵了就要叫,平价还要砍价。所以,这就需要家长和教师都具有极大的献身精神。那是一种没有回报也要干的热情和决心。没有这样一种精神,是很难以为继的。这种无私奉献的精神和做法,又骄纵了大家要求便宜的习惯势力。真便宜啊!而且,其他学校的学费都被这个学校的拖住了。所以资本是很难在这里谋利。可是,为了自己的孩子,总是会有足够的 人,有足够的热情能力和精力,出来牵头中文学校。往往,教师就是家长,家长就是教师。这样,半公益性质的周末中文学校就如雨后春笋般的出现华人砸堆的地方。 7h%4]  
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称为“家长管理的学校”,就是这个原因。可是,到底有多少家长会来参与管理呢? >!L&>OOx  
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从总体来讲,我们有爱“窝里斗”和缺乏“公益心”,这样两个似乎矛盾但又“相辅相成”的毛病。这并不是我们与生俱来的天性。人之初,性本善。这是因为我 们是吃“狼奶”长大的。“狼妈妈”,不给我们民主平等的权利,不教我们民主参与的理念和实践。不给我们“知晓权”和“参与权”。残酷地镇压任何“异见”,不允许一点思想自由的萌芽冒尖。前辈的苦难自身的遭遇比什么虚伪的口号多有 力量现实的生活,痛苦地教训了我们养成了我们很多人“不参与”,“不出头”,不参与“政治”的习惯,极大地扼杀了很多人的公益心和正义感。而且形成了“惹不起还躲 不起?”,息事宁人,畏惧政治,远离政治的思维习惯。另一方面呢,无法制,不守规矩,崇尚权势,按“潜规则”办事,拉帮结派,江湖义气深深地烙在我们的思 想深处,经常在潜意识里控制着我们的行为。“狼妈妈用言行驯会了我们搞窝里斗。我们这个群体,缺少一个公民社会的教育和体验。这就形成了我们含蓄,我们能忍,缺少正义感,责任感的集体特征。我们不像一般美 国民众那样,简单直率,容易激动,“较真”,讲规则。一旦有冲突,面子交情,远重于原则和规章制度。 Us,)]W.S  
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有一次,我去看望一个美国教授,停车时,觉得没停到位,我就倒车调整一下。结果,碰到了后面经过的车。这个朋友走过来了。说,我认识校园警官,我打电话叫他来。我大喜,想他肯定是帮我说话了。警官一到,这位教授朋友立刻说:“Hi, 这是我的朋友,他倒车不小心,碰了后面的车”。我愣住了,是朋友,怎么这么说话的?我想给警官解释,警官打断我,“你已经停下来了,后面的车在行驶中,总是你应该小心谦让。”这么简单明了,我没话说了。美国人通常就是认理,不讲情面。 ~2 @Lx3t$  
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重面子交情,轻规章制度,搞折中,和稀泥,习惯于幕后操作,台下交易的文化;事实上是,我们这种“沉默的大多数”的文化,往往让搞阴谋诡计的小人得逞。和稀泥幕后操作为“和为贵”,实质就是阴谋诡计的文化。 再加上,我们作为第一代新移民,白手起家地在这儿打拼,也是非常幸苦的。生活节奏快,压力大。也确实精力有限。能不管的“闲事”,就不管了。一般来说,就不在意公共事务里的争斗了。事不关己,高高挂起。只有到了自己的孩子的利益受到侵犯了,才会激动起来。像本文开头提到的那个事件,直接威胁到那个副校长教的两个班的教学了,家长们就拍案而起了。 方显出虎爹虎妈的英雄本色。 ^"9* 'vTtc  
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所以,在这个号称“家长管理的学校”,就形成这样一种尴尬矛盾的状况,广大家长不参与,作壁上观。越是遇事,越是沉默,躲得远远的。很多人只是因为有了这么一个学校在这里,现存的,何乐而不上之。比请人照看孩子还要便宜得多。 5Fm av5  
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沉默大多数的消极不参与,是这些窝里斗能反复发生的重要条件 Ytao"R/  
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二十年来,出来为中文学校工作的人多数是热心无私的。可是,也鱼龙混杂,各种各样的人都有。而且,出来做事的,虽然都是热心,但也不是圣人每个人都有个性,有优缺点。如果不涉及公共事务,很多人,尽管有缺点,贪点小便宜,耍点小心机,但是很热心,很侠义,仍然可以是好邻居,好朋友。可是,当把有 缺陷的个性带进公共事务之后,还要张扬,效果就不一样了。有些个性倔犟的人有理无理,都要占上风顽强地要表现自己,好大喜功,好出风头,死要面子。一点也听不进不同的意见。在公共事务中也是这样的话,那就糟糕了。再流言蜚语,拉帮结派,排斥 异己,就形成“窝里斗,其乐无穷了。 这样的人,虽然少,但是,“战斗力”极强。 /` [!_4i  
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不守规矩的人,蛮憨冲动的人,往往胜过守规矩的,温良恭俭让的人。特别是,当一伙有缺陷的,观念狭隘的人抱成团后,他们的弱点会“相益得彰”,“共鸣”“放大”,容易突破道德底线。明明是理亏心虚的,经乡党,狐朋狗友一番怂恿,“不要怕”,“我们支持你”,“跟他们干”,恶向胆边生,立刻变得“正义十足”为了他们的“正义”,顽强执着,不达目的誓不休。可以不择手段,不顾面子,不要里子。“正义昂然”地搞阴谋诡计千方百计,一计不成,再生一计。只要是老乡,老同学,老朋友,甚至是朋友的朋友,一声叫唤,立刻像李逵一样,撸了袖子上。守规矩的人总是要顾计道德,信奉“君子不党”的古训,不愿意无原则的抱团。遇事总是先要问清楚,是非对错,来龙去脉,即使是好朋友。不会没头没脑地为朋友两胁插刀。又要顾及面子,又要顾及里子,按规章制度办事。息事宁人,多一事不如少一事,下不了恶手,做不出狠事。因此就要吃亏。因为多数家长的不参与,虽然很多人心如明镜,宁肯作沉默的大多数。不守规矩的人抱团,反倒很容易拉起虚假的多数,玩弄民主程序。对于规章制度,有利则用之,无利则弃之。彪悍凶猛,有如Harry Porter里的火龙鸟。也有些人虽然一开始是从善良的愿望出发,可是,跳不出人情面子的窝臼,搞到后来,总是南辕北辙,把事情搞得乱七八糟。尽管很多家长看着心疼焦急,没有办法制约他们。失去有效制衡的权力,必然要败坏。 !nd*W"_gQ/  
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这样的恶斗,吓坏了广大的家长,又加剧了家长不参与的局面,恶性循环。学生家长已过千,鼎盛时超过一千三百,不管什么选举,即使经过双方都猛烈动员,顶多时也就二百来人的参与投票,就很不错了。多年来,基本如此。 8Hi!kc;f6>  
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所以,中文学校不断有窝里斗,总是在内耗,周而复始,至今“长不大”。多年的社区事务的浸淫,常常让我一声叹息:不争气的同胞们,真不值得我为你们奋斗。 ySe$4deJ  
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所以,我在理事会时,一直呼吁,要公开,透明,民主,要摆脱人情面子,就事论事极力呼吁,我们要下大力气,认真地千方百计地改变家长参与度太低的局面。为了学校的长治久安,一定要创造一个体制,落实,保障家长的参与权。 9xFO]Y"  
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这不是做不到,也不是非常难做到的事。问题是愿意不愿意这么做。有些喜欢出头露面,喜欢做侨领的人,往往就是不愿意真正地尊重多数人的意愿,不愿意真正地把知晓权,参与权,决策权交给大家。往往,他们就像“江三代表”一样,就是喜欢独断专行,代表你们,没商量。 T-gk<V  
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何能落实,保障全体家长的参与权听下回分解 _OMpIdY,R*  
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[ 此帖被老钱在2012-01-16 00:09重新编辑 ]
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离线游客
  • IP : 142.4.213.*
只看该作者 275楼  发表于: 2014-10-30
Email 3 +Eg# 8/q  
P!EX;+7+x  
What kind of surprise you have? I should say you surprised me A LOT by replying me personaly twice in this rude and nasty way. @xE Q<g  
1L7,x @w  
I was sending the email to all the teachers on North Campus, not to all parents. I was doing my job.  Whatever I said in my email was all about the Open House----the part what our teachers supposed to do.  The words "文化节活动" were mentioned just because the Open House would happen on the same day.  I was reminding the teachers of the event and offering my help, I did not announce anything if you understand Chinese, let alone the event was scheduled since the beginning of this semester. 5K<C  
4N&}hOM'S  
Thanks for telling the truth by saying "以往PTA对这一活动做许多筹划,帮忙校务".    Nobody saw you did anything for the event until I sent the email yesterday. And wasn't it a kind of communication from me by copying my email to you?  What communication did you do with me for the coming Cultural Festival before I sent that email yesterday?  Did I blame you for not communicating with me? No, I did not. The reason I chose to copy my email to  the president and vice presidents of PTA (Sorry for forgetting add Denis Lo in my previous email, sincerely apologize for my carelessness to Denis Lo here.) was because I have been respecting PTA all the time and respecting all the people who work for PTA, including you. I could choose not to copy my email to PTA  and just ignor you, but I did not. It seems that I was wrong. Are you worth of my respect?  I definitely doubt it now. 89bKnsV  
}fZBP]<I(  
The scheduled date for Open House and Culture Festival has been on school calendar since the beginning of this school year. Have you ever read it being a president of PTA? Plus it is not the first time for PTA to host the Festival. Where is your "surprise" from?  I should have every good reason to be surprised by your response instead. Being the successor of Mr. He, it is your responsibility to remember what you should do for the north campus besides arguing, quarrelling and blaming other people who have been working hard quietly. If you didn't remember the event or the date,  saying "thank you for your kind reminder" or just keeping quietness may sound like a better choice. UJ:B:hh''  
 j C?  
Also what is wrong with "只不过是 open house this year."? ACCA has been established for 22 years, and Culture Festival of North Campus is only 2 years old. How about those 20 years without Culture Festival? That 20 years history withour Culture Festival, or even without Open House is worth nothing to you? How dare you scorn the accomplishment of Open House from all teachers and students and all parents by saying "只不过“? IgL8u  
*Y~64FM  
If you are not satisfied with the current situation of ACCA,  sorry, it is not my fault. But please remember that the reason why North Campus is still running smoothly today is because of the hard work of all the teachers and teaching affairs personnel, including my hard work, not because of an arrogant poser like you. The reason why those parents and their children choose ACCA is because of all teachers' professional ethics and dedication and their high level teaching performance, and the serving attitude from teaching affairs personnel, not because of a backseat driver like you. And it is not hard for any reasonable man to understand that. Po3W+; @  
f_8~b0`  
I don't know you, I never did anything to offend you, my attitude here was  all triggered by your response to me. And the conversation here is all about North Campus of ACCA. AtI,& S#{  
{VG6m Hw  
(The attached here is for those who did not see my previou email, sorry for the bothering) R2@u[  
1\uS~R R  
Jessie Jiang 姜月 <Vb{QOgc;  
Viw3 /K  
Principal of North Campus, ACCA 9m{rQ P/  
---------------------------------------------------------------------- *Q?HaG|S  
Email 1 ><~hOK?v  
I5]zOKlVR  
Surprised!以往PTA对这一活动做许多筹划,帮忙校务。今年不同,没任何沟通准备就发通知了。 Z)%p,DiNM  
e`^j_V nEH  
PTA同仁,Should we set up a table for PTA as we did last year? Any cultural events we should sponsor?  do we have any signs or things left over from last year we can recycle?  I don't have a budget since I have never talked with the principal or anyone of the school adm yet. |~Iw   
(n\ cs$  
%<t/xAge  
Email 2 4y]*"(sQ;  
1YxI q565  
For those of you who don't know, last year's cultural events included 孔子学院的琵琶表演,书法协会的炼字demo,以及武术等。 3$54*J  
dQ]j r.  
现在日期已定,从外面找困难些。从校内,去年的快板表演很好。 大家伙要发扬culture ideas, 否 则j只不过是 open house this year.
离线游客
  • IP : 12.165.33.*
只看该作者 274楼  发表于: 2014-10-30
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只看该作者 273楼  发表于: 2014-10-30
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只看该作者 272楼  发表于: 2014-10-30
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离线游客
  • IP : 171.25.193.*
只看该作者 271楼  发表于: 2014-10-30
Email 3 m@F`!qY~Y\  
JCz eXNY  
What kind of surprise you have? I should say you surprised me A LOT by replying me personaly twice in this rude and nasty way. ~i{(<.he  
AW'0,b`v  
I was sending the email to all the teachers on North Campus, not to all parents. I was doing my job.  Whatever I said in my email was all about the Open House----the part what our teachers supposed to do.  The words "文化节活动" were mentioned just because the Open House would happen on the same day.  I was reminding the teachers of the event and offering my help, I did not announce anything if you understand Chinese, let alone the event was scheduled since the beginning of this semester. _QE qk@ql  
=tn)}Y.<e  
Thanks for telling the truth by saying "以往PTA对这一活动做许多筹划,帮忙校务".    Nobody saw you did anything for the event until I sent the email yesterday. And wasn't it a kind of communication from me by copying my email to you?  What communication did you do with me for the coming Cultural Festival before I sent that email yesterday?  Did I blame you for not communicating with me? No, I did not. The reason I chose to copy my email to  the president and vice presidents of PTA (Sorry for forgetting add Denis Lo in my previous email, sincerely apologize for my carelessness to Denis Lo here.) was because I have been respecting PTA all the time and respecting all the people who work for PTA, including you. I could choose not to copy my email to PTA  and just ignor you, but I did not. It seems that I was wrong. Are you worth of my respect?  I definitely doubt it now. T#Z^s~7&I  
w"|L:8  
The scheduled date for Open House and Culture Festival has been on school calendar since the beginning of this school year. Have you ever read it being a president of PTA? Plus it is not the first time for PTA to host the Festival. Where is your "surprise" from?  I should have every good reason to be surprised by your response instead. Being the successor of Mr. He, it is your responsibility to remember what you should do for the north campus besides arguing, quarrelling and blaming other people who have been working hard quietly. If you didn't remember the event or the date,  saying "thank you for your kind reminder" or just keeping quietness may sound like a better choice. Z'W =\rl  
*3FKt&v 0  
Also what is wrong with "只不过是 open house this year."? ACCA has been established for 22 years, and Culture Festival of North Campus is only 2 years old. How about those 20 years without Culture Festival? That 20 years history withour Culture Festival, or even without Open House is worth nothing to you? How dare you scorn the accomplishment of Open House from all teachers and students and all parents by saying "只不过“? t%FwXaO#  
^4hO  
If you are not satisfied with the current situation of ACCA,  sorry, it is not my fault. But please remember that the reason why North Campus is still running smoothly today is because of the hard work of all the teachers and teaching affairs personnel, including my hard work, not because of an arrogant poser like you. The reason why those parents and their children choose ACCA is because of all teachers' professional ethics and dedication and their high level teaching performance, and the serving attitude from teaching affairs personnel, not because of a backseat driver like you. And it is not hard for any reasonable man to understand that. -%CP@dAk  
Hqx-~hQO  
I don't know you, I never did anything to offend you, my attitude here was  all triggered by your response to me. And the conversation here is all about North Campus of ACCA. NiK4d{E&  
9(7-{,c  
(The attached here is for those who did not see my previou email, sorry for the bothering) ~2N"#b&J  
P%VSAh\|n  
Jessie Jiang 姜月 4G0m\[Du  
[;yOBF  
Principal of North Campus, ACCA 7`Ak) F:V  
---------------------------------------------------------------------- gp?uHKsM  
Email 1 1D7 `YKI9h  
9};8?mucr  
Surprised!以往PTA对这一活动做许多筹划,帮忙校务。今年不同,没任何沟通准备就发通知了。 (@VMH !3  
~P,lz!he_  
PTA同仁,Should we set up a table for PTA as we did last year? Any cultural events we should sponsor?  do we have any signs or things left over from last year we can recycle?  I don't have a budget since I have never talked with the principal or anyone of the school adm yet. ]Sz:|%JP1  
IdYt\^@>  
yYYSeH  
Email 2 At>DjKx]O  
S L j!v&'  
For those of you who don't know, last year's cultural events included 孔子学院的琵琶表演,书法协会的炼字demo,以及武术等。 j0aXyLNX  
wo/\]5  
现在日期已定,从外面找困难些。从校内,去年的快板表演很好。 大家伙要发扬culture ideas, 否 则j只不过是 open house this year.
离线游客
  • IP : 107.77.90.*
只看该作者 270楼  发表于: 2014-10-25
老钱说的好听,到实际做时,就不吭声了。现在老钱支持的那个基金会的鲍某人,为了基金会的方便,继续支持现任校长,支持主校园继续抽北校的血。老钱,你倒是出来道个公正啊?你现在的沉默,让你多篇慷慨陈词等于屁话。
离线游客
  • IP : 174.228.131.*
只看该作者 269楼  发表于: 2014-10-25
不要吵了总校长理事通通滚开PTA接管学校
离线游客
  • IP : 174.228.131.*
只看该作者 268楼  发表于: 2014-10-25
不要吵了,
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