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发表于 2011-9-6 06:54:12
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引用第32楼红顶山于2011-09-05 23:33发表的 :
There is no answer, because the marriage is gamble.
I still remember clearly what my atterney said when I went through divorce process, "Marriage is gamble. Divorce is gamble. The life itself is gamble." If you do not like gamble, sorry, you are in the social casino. In the case of divorce there is no winner. I am not sure what XF is facing. She looks suffering. So does her ex. Usually the judge will give joint custody, except abusing cases. I suffered a lot at that time. But what can you do. Loser is a loser. The time does cure. You lose somewhere may help winning somewhere else. Do not stick to one game. Forget about what I did wrong and he/she did wrong. Get rid of it and start new game. 
That what is a right mentality we all should have.
Not question about that, the spouse was the last the person in the world I wanted to deal with during the process of my divorce.
Like I expressed in another thread, I had had to put it in perspective, and had to negotiate with the spouse. Treat it as a business.Look, what if we could have this settled ourselves at a year ago, we could put this amount $$,$$$ of money away for our kids’ college fund instead of having the contribution made for the attorneys’ kids’. Ouch, that was not even a pre-taxed contribution.
| Do not cover the others’ college costs instead of paying your kids’! |
I have never bad mouth my spouse directly or indirectly in front of my children, though in couple of occasions I had almost had. Only saying the positive about her, though I had very much sick about that. Heck, no matter what, she is their mother!
A few of facts for those still Stupid Enough could not realize:
The facts: 1.Your spouse is your kids’ mother( or father) and no one could ever change that. 2. You and your spouse after divorce finalized will still be related through the rest of your life because of the children of the both. When both in 90 year olds, may still have to see each other in the occasions such as your grandchildren’s graduations or weddings.
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发表于 2011-9-5 19:22:43