ZT: Savitt: 我的六四记录 (中英对照)
发表于 2014 年 05 月 30 日 由 lixindai
Saturday June 3, 1989 8 p.m.
1989年6月3日，星期六，晚8:00
It’s still light outside. I haven’t slept in 48 hours. I feel like I’m moving in slow motion. All I want to do is lie down, but I know I have to keep working.
外边天还亮着。我已经有48小时没合眼了。我感觉自己进入了慢动作状态。我只想躺下来。可我知道我得继续工作。
The UPI office telephone rings. UPI bureau chief David Schweisberg picks it up then barks, “Savitt, it’s your girlfriend.” Dede and the U.S. ambassador’s wife Mrs. Bette Bao Lord are in the CBS headquarters. The office takes up the entire tenth floor of the Shangri-La Hotel in the northwest university district.
合众国际社（UPI）办公室的电话铃响了。UPI分社社长Schweisberg接起电话大喊：“Savitt，你女朋友的。”Dede和美国大使夫人包柏漪正在哥伦比亚广播公司（CBS）总部，它设在北京西北的学院区香格里拉饭店的10楼，办公室占了整整一层。
“Wei! Wei! Hey! Hey!” I grunt the standard Chinese telephone greeting to try to lighten the mood with humor.
“喂！喂！嘿！嘿！”我用中文咕哝着电话问候，想用幽默让心情轻松些。
“Don’t joke,” Dede says. “You have to get to the west end of the Avenue of Eternal Peace right away. The troops and tanks are moving. They have orders to clear Tiananmen Square before dawn.”
“别开玩笑，”Dede说，“你马上到长安街西头去。部队和坦克已经出动了。他们接到命令要在凌晨前对天安门广场清场。”
“Cao, Fuck!
“肏！”
“Thanks for your help,” I add and hear her tell me: “Be careful” as I hang up.
“谢谢你帮忙，”我补充了一句，挂电话时听见她说“小心点儿”。
I grab my camera bag and motorcycle helmet, shove my brick-sized cell phone into the pocket of my dad’s old army jacket I wear for good luck, and call out: “The troops are moving, I’m heading west.”
我抓起相机包和头盔，把砖头大小的手机塞进我爸的旧军装口袋里，平时我穿它是为图个吉利。我喊了一声：“部队出动了。我去西边儿了。”
“Keep your phone on,” I hear Schweisberg say as I sprint out the door.
“手机开着，”冲出门时Schweisberg对我说。
I hop on my motorcycle, kick start the engine and speed out the front gate of the diplomatic compound. It’s 10 km. (6.2 miles) to the west end of the city. I’ve made the ride in less than 15 minutes with no traffic. But now the streets are packed with people moving concrete lane dividers into the roadway to block the troops from entering the city.
我跳上摩托车，踩着了油门，冲出外交公寓。城西头离这里有10公里（6.2英里）。街上没车时，我用15分钟就能骑到。可现在街上全是人。为了阻挡部队进城，他们把水泥隔离墩都挪到了马路中间。
No car can get through this. Other journalists are going to have a hard time getting to the front line.
汽车是根本开不过去的。其他记者要想到前线去会很艰难。
Public loudspeakers at every intersection repeat the martial law warning:
“Citizens are forbidden to enter the streets or Tiananmen Square. Violators will be responsible for their own fate. Should anyone ignore this order, the martial law troops, people’s armed police and public security officers will use whatever means necessary to enforce it.”
每个路口的大喇叭都在不停地重复着戒严令的紧急通告：“全体市民们，请你们不要上街去，不要到天安门广场去。凡不听劝告的，将无法保证其安全，一切后果完全由自己负责。戒严部队、公安干警和武警部队有权采取一切手段强行处置。”
I steer into the bike lane and weave through the crowds heading for Tiananmen.
我转到自行车道，在往天安门方向走去的人群中穿梭。
The Square is packed with people. I never knew how festive a revolt could be. People are smiling, laughing and talking about their hopes for the future. But I see in their eyes fierce determination to hold the heart of the city through the night.
广场上挤满了人。我还真不知道反抗活动可以这么富有节日气氛。人们面带微笑，笑谈着对未来的希望。从他们的目光里，我看到他们下定了决心，要通宵占领这个城市心脏。
I ride past the portrait of Chairman Mao hanging above the Gate of Heavenly Peace. As I leave the Square the number of people in the street thins out. I veer back onto the main road and pick up speed. The landmarks tick by a kilometer apart: Tiananmen Renda Huitang (Gate of Heavenly Peace Great Hall of the People) West Road. Xinhua (New China) Gate. Liubukou (Six Ministries Street Mouth). Xidan (West Monumental
Arch). Minzu Gong (National Minorities Palace). Fuxing (Glorious Revival) Gate—the entrance to the old Imperial city. Muxidi—the site of high officials’ residences, including the Communist Party Secretary’s chief of staff and his family. I finally arrive at Gongzhufen—“Tomb of the Princesses” -—where the Third Ring road turns south toward the military camps where I know the tanks and troops are billeted.
天安门城楼上高悬的毛主席像在我身旁掠过。离开广场时，街上的人少了下来。我又上了主车道，开始加速。一个个路标被我甩在身后：人大会堂西路、新华门、六部口、西单、民族宫、复兴门、木樨地—这儿有一栋部长楼，共产党总书记的政治秘书鲍彤一家就住在这楼里。我终于到达了公主坟。从这里上三环往南走就是兵营，部队和坦克都驻扎在那儿。
It’s taken more than an hour to get here. The sun has set and the sky is now completely dark. The grassy roundabout is filled with people sitting in circles. Individuals move from group to group, gathering information and speculating about what the government is going to do. Contrary to the festive mood in the Square, this crowd is on edge.
我花了一个多小时才到达公主坟。太阳下山了，天完全黑了下来。环岛草地上坐满了人，他们围成圈。几个人在人群中走来走去搜集信息，猜测政府下一步会采取什么行动。跟广场上的节日气氛不同的是，这群人显得非常紧张。
I feel my cell phone vibrate and pull it out. It’s Dede.
手机震动了。我接起来，是Dede打来的。
“Where are you?”
“你在哪儿？”
“Gongzhufen.”
“公主坟。”
“The troops and tanks are coming up the road toward you.”
“部队和坦克正在往你的方向进发。”
“Thanks,” I say and shove the phone back in my pocket.
“谢啦，”说完我就把电话塞进了口袋。
Mrs. Lord and Dede’s intelligence is again unerring. I ride my bike south with the lights out to avoid detection. I hear a low rumble grow louder, and as I come over a rise I see a line of battle tanks, armored personnel carriers, and thousands of soldiers with bayonet-tipped assault rifles coming toward me. It’s the most terrifying sight I’ve ever seen.
这次，包柏漪夫人和Dede的情报再次准确无误。我骑上摩托往南走，为了不被发现，我灭了灯。就在这时，隆隆声越来越响。我来到高处，看见一排坦克、装甲车还有几千名端着刺刀冲锋枪的士兵朝我的方向行进。我这辈子都没见过这么吓人的场面。
I whip my bike around and speed back toward the intersection.
我掉转车头，加速朝路口骑去。
“Dabing laila!—The soldiers are coming!” I cry as loud as I can.
“大兵来啦！”我拼命高喊。
I hide my bike in a clump of bushes. I’m still wearing my motorcycle helmet, and my bandana covers my mouth and nose. Only my eyes are visible, no one can see I’m a foreigner. Suddenly anti-riot troops in black uniforms with metal shields and steel helmets pour into the roundabout from all sides. People start running. I hear the thud of wooden truncheons smacking skulls.
我把车藏到矮树丛下。头盔还戴在脑袋上。我用大手帕把嘴和鼻子都捂上，只露出眼睛，没人能看出我是外国人。突然，身穿黑制服、手拿盾牌、带着头盔的防暴警察从四面八方冲进圆形地带。人们跑了起来。我听到木棍打到头盖骨的噗噗声。
“Faxisi—Fascists!” “Gou—Dogs!” “Chusheng—Beasts!” onlookers yell. Then the people start fighting back. Young men break sidewalk flagstones into jagged chunks and hurl them at the soldiers.
“法西斯！”“狗！”“畜牲！”旁观的人高喊着。这时，人们开始反击。年轻人把地砖砸碎，朝士兵扔去。
A young riot trooper gets trapped against a metal fence and pelted with bricks and stones until he falls to the ground. I run to help him, but can’t get close as the crowd closes in. They look like they’re beating him to death.
一名防暴士兵被困在铁栏杆上。人们往他身上扔砖头和石头，他倒在了地上。我跑过去想帮他，可他被层层包围，他们快要把他打死了。
Then I hear the unmistakable sound of machine gun fire. Pop-pop-pop. Steady bursts of three shots that I know means the rifles are on semi-automatic. Red and green tracer bullets streak through the sky. It’s eerily beautiful. I can’t help thinking of the lines from the Star Spangled Banner: “And the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air.”
这时，我清清楚楚地听见机枪声，“啪、啪、啪”一连三发子弹，说明这是半自动步枪。红红绿绿的曳光弹划过夜空，有着一种诡异的美。这不由让我想起美国国歌“星条旗永不落”里的歌词：“烈火熊熊，炮声隆隆。”
Suddenly a man next to me spins and falls to the ground. I see a red stain spread across his t-shirt. “Are they rubber bullets?” I ask a guy running by.
突然，我身旁一名男子打着转，倒在了地上。他的背心上一大片红渍。“他们用的是橡皮子弹？”我问身边跑过去的一个男人。
“Rubber bullets?! Fuck no, they’re live rounds.” He knows what he’s talking about, everyone here does mandatory military training and is familiar with these weapons.
“橡皮子弹?! 别逗了！真枪实弹！”他说的没错。他们都受过军训，对这些武器门儿清。
Then the tracer fire moves from over our heads directly into the crowd. People start falling all around me. I hear the ppppzzzzhhhh ppppzzzzhhhh ppppzzzzhhhh of high-velocity rifle bullets buzzing past my head. A tear gas canister explodes next to me and I fall to the ground. My eyes are burning and tearing. Gasping for air, I lie paralyzed on the pavement for several minutes. When I can finally see again the tanks and troops are moving toward the next intersection, Muxidi.
曳光弹从头顶落入人群，周围的人纷纷倒下。高速步枪子弹从耳边呼啸而过，催泪瓦斯弹在身旁爆开来，我倒在地上，眼睛烧灼般疼痛，眼泪直流。我瘫痪地躺在便道上，大口喘着气。几分钟后，我恢复了视力，看到坦克和部队已经向下一个路口木樨地进发了。
I call in the first confirmed death after 10 p.m. I can barely be heard above the din of gunshots.
10点钟后，我打电话报告第一个确定的死者。子弹的呼啸声大得连我都听不见自己的说话声了。
“Dave,” I say when I hear my boss’s voice, “they’re firing into the crowd and a guy’s dead.”
“大卫，”我听见老板的声音，跟他说，“他们在朝人群开枪，一个男的已经死了。”
“How do you know he’s dead?”
“你怎么知道他死了？”
“Because his brains are splattered on the pavement.”
“他的脑浆溅了一地！”
The phone cuts off.
电话断了。
A guy my age limps toward me. I see he’s shot in the upper leg. His pants are drenched with blood. I tell him I’ll take him to Fuxing Hospital, a mile away at Muxidi Bridge.
一个和我年纪相仿的人朝我一瘸一拐地走来。他的大腿中了枪，裤子都被血渗透了。我跟他说我带他去复兴医院，它就在木樨地附近。
I pull my bike out of the bushes and help him straddle the seat. As he leans against me I feel his blood seep into my clothes. I speed off in the bike lane. The tanks and troops are advancing down the main road beside us less than 20 meters away. They’re firing into the crowd ahead. If they turn their guns sideways we’ll both be killed.
我把摩托从矮树丛中拉出，帮他跨上座位。他靠在我身上，我能感觉到他的血渗到我的衣服上。我在自行车道上快速出发。在离我们不到20米的路旁，坦克和部队在行进，朝他们前面的人群射击。如果他们把枪口调到侧面，我们俩肯定会被打死。
We pass bicycles and flatbed tricycles transporting the wounded.
一路上，自行车和平板车都在运送着伤员。
I speed up to the hospital entrance, drop the kickstand and help the injured guy inside. The sight shocks me. The entrance corridor is filled with gunshot victims. Most aren’t being treated. Some are hooked up to IVs. A handful are covered with bloody white sheets, obviously dead.
我快速来到医院门口，放下摩托车支架，扶着伤者走了进去。这里的场面让我震惊。门口的走廊里挤满了被子弹打中的伤员。多数人还在等候治疗。有的挂着点滴，四、五个人的身上覆盖着有血迹的白单子，他们显然已经断气了。
“Jiuming—Help!” I yell.
“救命！”我大叫起来。
A nurse wearing a surgical mask runs over and we ease the guy onto the floor.
一位戴着口罩的护士跑过来，跟我一起把伤者放到地上。
“He needs to be treated!” I shout.
“他需要治疗！”我大声喊着。
“No one’s available. The doctors are all operating on the worst injured. We aren’t prepared to handle this many wounded.”
“现在没人。医生全都在给受伤最重的做手术。一下子这么多受伤的，我们对付不过来。”
I know from my wilderness survival training that the biggest danger of massive trauma is blood loss. If they don’t get transfused quickly the victim “bleeds out.” That’s what’s happening here. This hospital won’t have enough blood for all these people.
我受过野外生存训练，知道大面积受伤的人最怕失血。如果不赶紧输血，伤者会因失血过多而死去。这就是眼下正在发生的事情。这家医院血源不足，没办法给这么多人供血。
“How many wounded?” I ask the nurse.
“有多少受伤的？”我问护士。
“All the operating rooms are full. So is the taipingjian—rest-in-peace room.” Rest-in-peace room is the Chinese word for morgue. There must be scores injured and dead.
手术室都满了，太平间也满了。这里的死伤人数起码有几十个。
I step back through the bodies in the entryway. The stench of blood and open wounds sickens me.
我从躺在入口处的那些身体中走出来。血腥的气味和伤口的恶臭令人作呕。
There’s nothing more I can do here. I should be out reporting.
我在这儿帮不上忙。应该到外面去报道。
I run outside, hop on my bike and take off after the tanks.
我跑出去，跳上摩托，跟在坦克后面，上了路。
The carnage I just witnessed at Gongzhufen repeats itself at Muxidi. Anti-riot troops try to clear the intersection and are attacked by citizens throwing stones, bricks, bottles and now flaming Molotov cocktails. The soldiers open fire again and all around me people drop to the ground bleeding.
在公主坟目睹的大屠杀在木樨地重演。防暴部队想打开一条路，市民们向他们投掷石块、砖头、瓶子、燃烧弹。士兵再次向市民开火，周围的人纷纷倒下，在地上流着血。
“Get her to the hospital immediately or she’ll die,” I yell to a group carrying an injured young woman.
一群人正在运送一名受伤的女孩。我朝他们喊: “赶快把她送医院，要不她就死了。”
The tragic scene repeats itself all the way down the Avenue of Eternal Peace. Thousands of enraged citizens fill the streets, massing spontaneously at each intersection to resist the assault on their city. Incapable of clearing them with tear gas and batons, the soldiers shoot their way through the crowds and dozens if not hundreds fall at every crossroads.
长安街一路上，悲惨的场面不断出现。成千上万愤怒的市民涌向街头，自发地集结在每个路口，抗议军队袭击城市。士兵因无法用催泪弹和棍棒驱赶人群，他们就一路开枪，杀出一条路，每个十字路口都有起码几十人倒下。
Fuxing (Glorious Revival) Gate. Minzu Gong (National Minorities Palace). Xidan (West Monumental Arch). Liubukou (Six Ministries Street Mouth). Xinhua (New China) Gate. Tiananmen (Heavenly Peace Gate). Renminda Huitang (The Great Hall of People) West Road. The macabre dance continues. I ride the entire length of the Avenue of Eternal Peace on the sidewalk, as far from the troops as I can get while still catching the action with my camera. Famed photojournalist Robert Capa advised: “If your photographs aren’t good enough, you’re not close enough.” He’s right, but if I get too close the nervous soldiers will fire at me. The tension sharpens my senses and etches every moment into memory.
从复兴门、民族宫、西单，到六部口、新华门和人大会堂西路，令人毛骨悚然的场面一直在持续。一路上，我只能在便道上骑车，离部队远点儿，尽量把眼前发生的一切用相机拍下来。Robert Capa是位有名的新闻摄影师。他曾说过：“照片拍得不好，是因为距离不够近。”没错。可如果我离得太近，紧张的士兵会朝我开枪的。紧张让我感觉灵敏。我把眼前的一切都铭刻在脑海里。
On numerous occasions I make eye contact with soldiers less than 20 meters away. They point their rifles at me several times, but for some reason don’t shoot. I guess they’re exclusively focused on getting to the Square so nothing else matters.
好几次，我都和距离20米以内的士兵对视。好几次，他们都用步枪指着我。可不知为何，他们并未开枪。他们一心一意要到达广场，别的对他们大概没那么重要。
They finally arrive at Tiananmen just after midnight. The tanks and troops begin to fan out and surround the 10-acre square. They line up in straight rows, apparently awaiting orders for the final assault. When the cordon closes the thousands of students and citizens will be trapped in the square.
坦克和部队于午夜时分到达广场。他们列成扇形，把占地10英亩的广场包围起来。士兵们排列成行，显然是在等待最后进攻的命令。待警戒线缩小时，成千上万的学生和市民就会被困在广场上。
This is my last chance to join them. I race ahead of the tanks to an alley called Zhengyi Lu—Justice Lane, southeast of the square. It’s part of the old Legation Quarter. I lived in this neighborhood for several years and visit close friends here regularly. I know the streets well. I ride down the pitch-dark alleyway with my lights out, park my bike in a dark corner where I can retrieve it later, and run onto the square just before the tank line closes.
要想加入他们的队伍，这是我最后的机会。我冲到坦克前面，驶入广场东南角的正义路。这是过去的使馆区。我曾在附近住过几年，也常去周围的朋友家串门，对这一带的街道了如指掌。关上车灯，我骑进了漆黑的胡同。把车放在一个过后能找到的阴暗角落后，就在坦克封场之前赶回了广场。
An emergency notice broadcasts continuously from public loudspeakers on the Square: “City residents and students, a counterrevolutionary rebellion has taken place in Beijing. A small number of terrorists has incited students to violently attack the Great Hall of the People and throw rocks and Molotov cocktails at PLA soldiers and the people’s armed police, injuring many! Students and residents are asked to leave the Square immediately or you will bear the consequences of your actions.”
广场上大喇叭里反复播送着紧急通告：“全体市民们：首都今晚发生了严重的反革命暴乱。暴徒们猖狂攻击解放军指战员，抢军火，烧军车，设路障，绑架解放军官兵，妄图颠覆中华人民共和国，推翻社会主义制度……凡在天安门广场的公民和学生，应立即离开，以保证戒严部队执行任务。凡不听劝告的，将无法保证其安全，一切后果完全由自己负责。”
I hurry to the Monument of Revolutionary Martyrs at the center of the Square. Several thousand students and citizens remain here. Those nearest look at me like they’re seeing a ghost. I look down and see I’m covered with blood. Then I remove my bandana. They’re even more shocked to see I’m a foreigner.
我匆忙赶到广场中心的纪念碑。几千名学生和市民还聚集在这里。周围的人看着我好似看见了鬼。我低头一看，原来自己衣服上都是血。我把大手帕摘下来，他们就更吃惊了，原来还是个老外！
“Zenme hui shi What happened?” they ask.
“怎么回事儿？”他们问。
“What happened? Don’t you know?! They’re shooting everyone in sight!”
“怎么回事儿？你们真不知道？他们见人就开枪！”
The students on the Square don’t know what’s occurred outside Tiananmen. I’m the first to bring the tragic news. I’m quickly surrounded and recount everything I’ve witnessed.
广场的学生们完全不知道广场外边发生的事情。他们从我这里第一次听到这悲惨的消息。他们围拢过来。我把自己目睹的一切跟他们说了一遍。
Now they’re scared.
他们开始害怕起来。
“Do you think they’ll shoot us?”
“他们会对我们开枪吗？”
I shake my head but remain silent.
我摇摇头，没吭声。
They sit back down on the marble steps of the monument, visibly shaken.
学生们在纪念碑大理石台阶上又坐下来。看得出，他们很震惊。
I sit with them and take a much-needed rest.
我也坐了下来，想好好休息一下。
“民不畏死, 乃何以死懼之! Minbuweisi, naiheyisijuzhi The people aren’t afraid to die, how can you threaten us?” a female student cries, shaking her fist at the tanks and soldiers surrounding the Square. This gesture of defiance heartens her classmates.
“民不畏死，乃何以死惧之！”一个女生哭喊着，向包围广场的坦克和士兵挥舞着拳头。这个挑战的举动给同学们鼓起了勇气。
“I was just accepted to medical school. This is an inconvenient time to die!” a male student jokes, and the laughter of his classmates relieves the agonizing tension.
“我刚被医科大学录取。现在死可不是时候！”一名男生开起了玩笑，其他同学也笑了起来。他们的笑声让紧张的情绪有所缓解。
We sit facing the massed tanks and troops from midnight until 4 a.m. Blinding floodlights I’ve never seen turned on before illuminate the Square. I hear the sound of gunfire and see tracer bullets flying overhead. Street battles continue on the roadways adjacent to Tiananmen.
我们面对多辆坦克和大批士兵，从半夜一直坐到凌晨4：00。大灯亮了，一下子照亮了广场，非常刺眼。我从没见过这么让人目眩的灯光。我听见枪声，曳光弹在头顶飞过，天安门附近马路上的战斗仍在继续。
Finally a young professor from Beijing Normal University, Liu Xiaobo, persuades the students that they don’t have to die here. He receives their permission to negotiate a settlement. We watch him cross no-man’s land between us and the troops and talk to the soldiers. We’re afraid he’s going to be killed, beaten, or arrested, but he returns after half an hour and reports that he’s made a deal. The Martial Law troops will allow a one-time exit out the southeast corner of the Square. But anyone who stays behind won’t be protected.
最后，北师大年轻教授刘晓波出来劝说学生，告诉他们不要在广场做无谓的牺牲。经学生允许，他去与戒严部队商谈和解。我们看着他穿过在学生和部队之间的那片无人地带，跟他们谈判。我们担心他会被枪杀、殴打或逮捕。半小时后，他回来了。条件谈成了。戒严部队允许学生从广场东南角一次性撤出，但留下不走的将不会受到保护。
The protest organizers, now led by 21-year-old “commander-in-chief” Chai Ling, gather to discuss their response. There’s intense disagreement. Some want to leave and live to fight another day. Others want to occupy the Square to the end.
学运组织者在21岁的“总司令”柴玲的带领下，讨论着他们应如何回应戒严部队的和解条件。争论异常激烈。有人主张撤离，活下来继续斗争。其他人则主张在广场占领到底。
“How about a compromise,” Chai Ling proposes, “Those who want to leave can leave, those who choose to stay can stay.”
“妥协一下吧，”柴玲建议说。“想走的就走，想留的就留。”
They all agree and communicate their decision to Professor Liu, who goes back and conveys it to the troops. An agreement is finalized. The students are promised safe passage out the southeast corner of the Square.
他们一致同意，并把这一决定告诉刘晓波。刘再把这个信息转到给戒严部队。协议最终达成。部队保证在广场东南角给学生打开一条通道。
Tiananmen has been occupied nonstop for almost eight weeks. Beijing police stopped working a month ago and the capital’s crime rate went down. It’s the closest thing to pure communism I ever expect to see. Now it’s ending this tragic way. It feels like the death of idealism and innocence.
至此，天安门已被占领近八个星期了。北京的警察早在一个月前就不上班了，首都的犯罪率都下降了。这种类似于纯粹共产主义的东西是我不曾期待会亲眼见过的。可它却以悲剧的形式告终。这感觉就像是理想主义的终结和纯真的死亡。
4:30 a.m. June 4, 1989
1989年6月4日，凌晨
4：30 The students link hands, form two columns, and walk toward the southeast corner of the square. They circle around the east side of Chairman Mao’s Mausoleum. I walk alongside them. But before all the students make it off the monument, the troops start moving. Their first target is the Goddess of Democracy statue facing Chairman Mao’s portrait at the front of the square. A tank rolls forward, topples the statue and crushes it.
学生们手拉手，排成两列纵队，向广场东南角走去。他们围在毛主席纪念堂东边。我走在他们旁边。在学生还没有全部从纪念碑撤出时，部队就开始行动了。他们第一个目标就是矗立在广场前方、面对着毛主席像的民主之神雕塑。坦克向前开进，推倒了雕像，将它碾碎。
Then all the tanks and troops move toward the tent city standing between them and the Monument. The scene resembles what I witnessed earlier in the night—people running chaotically ahead of the armored vehicles and soldiers, shouting, and the staccato burst of gunfire.
接下来，坦克驶向立在部队和纪念碑之间的帐篷群。早些时候的景象再次重演。人们在装甲车和士兵前面乱跑，叫喊。枪声时而响起。
Students remaining on the Monument begin broadcasting the socialist anthem The Internationale on the public address speakers they installed when the protests started. I pay attention to the words for the first time: “This is the final struggle. Let us group together and create a brighter future for humanity.”
留在纪念碑上的学生开始播放“国际歌”，那些大喇叭是学生静坐开始时安装在广场上的。我第一次认真听它的歌词：“这是最后的斗争，团结起来到明天！”
The tanks roll over the tents, probably killing people inside, and toward the monument. Soldiers fire at the speakers to stop the music. Bullets crash into the metal but the music continues for what seems like minutes. Then the speakers start to drone and finally go silent.
坦克把帐篷一个个推倒，从上面碾过去。如果帐篷里有人，肯定被轧死了。坦克驶向纪念碑。士兵朝大喇叭开枪，企图让歌曲停下来。子弹打碎金属，歌声仍继续了几分钟。接下来，喇叭发出嗡嗡声，歌声最终断了。
The sky is getting light as I leave the Square with the students. We pass
through an opening the soldiers make and the line of tanks and troops closes behind us.
天开始亮了。我跟着学生们离开广场，穿过部队留给我们的通道。坦克和部队紧跟在我们后面。
We head west and begin the 7.5-mile walk back to the Haidian university
district.
我们朝西行进，开始步行7.5 英里，回到位于海淀的学院区。
At the first intersection, Liubukou, we turn north. Walking up the narrow alley, we see a line of troops pour in from the Avenue of Eternal Peace and head toward us. They fire tear gas and we fall to the ground. Then I hear the terrifying rumble of tanks. There’s no place to run. I claw my way over a street divider just in time. Those who remain behind are crushed.
我们走到第一个十字路口六部口时，向北拐，走在窄窄的街上。部队从长安街转进六部口，走向我们。他们开始放催泪弹，我们都趴在了地上。就在这时，我听到可怕的轰隆隆的坦克声。我们无处躲藏。我赶紧爬到隔离墩旁，躲过了坦克。原地没动的，都被坦克车碾过。
I’ve taken enough risk. I run back to Justice Lane and get my motorcycle. Then I speed to catch up with the survivors continuing their march to campus. I offer a ride to a female student who looks too exhausted to walk. She gratefully accepts.
我已冒了太多的险。我跑回正义路拿我的摩托，然后加速赶上这些幸存者，继续跟他们步行回校。一名女生累得走不动了。我让她坐上我的摩托。她感激地坐了上来。
We retrace my path of the night before. Riding west on the Avenue of Eternal Peace, the scene resembles a war zone. Burned-out tanks, smoldering military vehicles, articulated bus shells, dead bodies. The stench of fire and death is overwhelming.
我们在我昨晚的来路上往回走，西行的长安街就像战场，马路上有烧焦的坦克、冒烟的军车、铰接式公共汽车只剩下了空壳，尸体横七竖八。
The chaos stretches the entire length of the Avenue. At Muxidi we see the extent of the night’s violence. Even the high officials’ residences have dead and wounded out in front. People gather in groups on the street wailing at the tragedy and yelling angry epithets.
整个长安街一片混乱。木樨地的景象是昨晚暴力的结果，就连高干楼前面都有死伤者。面对这悲惨的景象，人们哭着、叫骂着。
“Liumang Zhengfu—Criminal Government!” One man’s words sum up the sentiments of all.
“流氓政府！”一位男士的话代表了大家此时的情绪。
Xiao Hong (Little Red), the girl on my bike, weeps softly behind me.
小红坐在我的车后，轻声地啜泣。
The overcast sky mirrors the desolation around us. Suddenly a smoldering
Military vehicle’s gas tank catches fire and kaboom! it explodes. We both jump at the loud noise.
阴沉的天空反射出周围的凄凉景象。这时，一辆冒着烟的军车的油箱突然着火，轰隆一声爆炸了。巨大的爆炸声把我们都吓了一大跳。
I finally make it to the entrance of Beida (Beijing University). For the first time I’ve ever seen there are no guards on duty at the gate. Outside the university health clinic dead students are on display. They’ve been shot to death, parts of their heads and bodies blown off. The dozen corpses are laid out on blocks of ice. People are whispering and crying. Xiao Hong doesn’t even look. In a barely audible whisper she thanks me for the ride and returns to her dorm.
我们终于走到了北大校门。门口没有站岗的保安，这还是头一遭。学校医务室外面排放着死去的学生。他们是被枪杀的。有的人的身体和脑袋都不见了。十几具尸体放在冰块上。人们在小声议论，有人在哭。小红连看都没看上一眼，她用我几乎听不见的声音向我道谢后，就回宿舍了。
It’s afternoon now. My cell phone battery is dead, so I can’t call in any more reports. I decide to go back to the office.
时间到了下午。我的手机已经没电了。我没法打电话汇报。我决定回办公室去。
I ride back downtown on the Ring Road. As opposed to the city streets, the highway is free of wreckage. But tanks and soldiers have set up checkpoints at every overpass. When they see that I’m a foreigner they wave me through.
我骑在环路上。跟市区马路不同的是，这里没有残骸。但坦克和部队在每个立交桥上都设了检查站。他们见我是外国人，挥了挥手让我过去。
I arrive back at the UPI office and stumble through the door. Dave, deputy bureau chief Mark, Delhi bureau chief Jonathan Landay and our local staff are huddled over computers pounding out stories. The room is choked with cigarette smoke. When they see me they all jump up at once.
我回到UPI办公室，跌跌撞撞地进了门。副主任Mark、驻德里的主任Jonathan Landay和本地雇员都正趴在电脑前拼命地写报道。房间里香烟的烟雾缭绕。他们看到我，一个个都跳了起来。
“When we didn’t hear from you we thought something terrible happened!” Dave says.
“没你的消息，我们以为你遇上大麻烦了！”大卫说。
“My cell phone battery died this morning while I was on the Square.”
“今天早上在广场的时候我的手机就没电了。”
They all look at me strangely. I glance down and see that my clothes are ripped and covered in blood.
他们用奇怪的眼光盯着我。我低头一看，原来衣服全撕了，满身是血。
“Are you hurt?” Dave asks.
“你伤着了吗？”大卫问我。
“No, this is other people’s blood.”
“没有，这都是别人的血。”
They guide me to a chair and someone hands me a cup of tea. I gulp it down. I haven’t had any water, never mind eaten, in 24 hours. I’m exhausted and numb. But I give them a rundown of everything I witnessed. I find out that what I saw took place all across the capital. There was a massacre in Beijing. The Chinese Red Cross reported 2,000 dead, with a detailed breakdown of casualties hospital by hospital. Then the military
moved into all medical facilities before dawn, stopped the counting and even fired on medical personnel who were trying to help the wounded.
他们让我坐下来，递给我一杯茶。我一饮而尽。我已经有一天一夜没吃没喝了。可我累得都麻木了。我简单地给他们讲述了我亲眼所见的一切。原来我所见到的在整个首都都发生了。一场大屠杀已在北京发生。根据中国红十字会统计，死亡者有两千，每个医院的死伤人数都详细列出。部队在黎明前又去了所有医院，禁止清点死伤人数，他们居然还向医护人员开枪。
When I hear this news I start to cry. But then I compose myself and finish my account.
我听到这个消息，一下子哭了起来。但我马上振作起来，继续说下去。
I haven’t slept in 72 hours.
我已有72小时没合眼了。
“Is it okay if I go to sleep?” I ask.
“我能睡个觉吗？”我问道。
“Sleep. Sleep,” Dave tells me. “We’ve got things covered and this story is just starting.”
“睡觉去，睡觉去，”大卫说。“这儿的活儿有人干，故事才开始。”
I stagger across the hall and push open the door of my apartment. I collapse on the bed in my bloodstained clothes and fall into a deep sleep.
我跌跌撞撞地走在过道上，打开公寓门，连血衣都来不及脱，就一头倒在床上，沉沉地睡着了。
来源：纵览中国May 02, 2014
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发表于 2014-6-3 14:49:08
