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ZT:感恩节笑话几则

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发表于 2013-11-28 19:39:56 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
感恩节了,转几个感恩节的笑话吧。呵呵。。。
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Happy Thanksgiving Holiday – Everyone!


1】感恩节来临,班上同学举办诗歌朗诵会。一个男生读道:谁的恩情比天高?
马上有同学说:这要去问宇航员,是谁帮助他做到了比登天还难的事。

朗读诗歌的同学瞪了一眼继续读:谁的恩情比海深?

那个同学接着说:这要问来自沿海的同学。



2. 那天,我拨通了家里的电话,正好是我妈接的。于是我说:“妈,您辛苦了,谢谢您给了我生命,又把我抚养大, 天气慢慢变泠了,您多注意身体,多多保重,女儿想您……”没等说完,电话那头传来妈的哽咽声,然后她哇的一声哭了——半小时后,老爸打我手机,焦急地说:“闺女,你跟你妈说什么了,是不是出事了?她不停地哭,怎么劝都劝不住……”


3. 我给妈妈发短信说:感谢你的养育之恩。

但是我发成了:“老媽,今天是感恩節。妳對我的養魚之恩我无以言表。會一直為妳祈福”我妈回短信问我什么养鱼之恩。。。

去年我给她的短信是:“妈妈你对我的大恩大德我这辈子还不清了,下辈子做牛做马,我 给你喂草。”

然后我妈今天发短信说:今年你不给我喂草了么?

哈哈哈。笑死我了!


4. 昨天陪媳妇去做头发,卷好头发正等待中,媳妇突然接到她局长的一条祝福短信,关于感恩节的,我们大叫,今天是感恩节????,我当即表示,快把短信转给我,让我给几个朋友发下。我发的时候还专门给一些比较重要的领导都发了下,可是奇怪的是,发出去的都没有回音,正纳闷,一个短信终于来了,一个妹妹的:感恩节是昨天呀,哥哥,你的生物钟该调了。天哪,我可是每个领导都发了呀。。。。。


5. 那天下班前,接到女友的电话:“今天是感恩节,我亲自下厨,请你吃大餐。”激动啊,幸福啊……不顾老板要求加班的命令,克服堵车、路远的重重困难,终于准时出现在女友家中——咦!饭桌上摆的是什么呀?女友跑过来,表功似的说:“你看,感恩节不是要吃烧鸡吗,这只我已经涂满了果浆……”


6. 那天,教师宿舍楼来了很多学生,他们带着鲜花、南瓜向老师表示感谢。王教授家里的人尤其多。王教授高兴地接受了学生的礼物,乐得合不拢嘴。然后他说:“好了,现在可以说你们的目的了,都有谁觉得自己及不了格?


7. 那天,小文在公文纸上写下:“感谢帮助过我的同事和所有的朋友们!”然后出去了,回来后发现纸上密密麻麻地写满了字:“自己人,说感谢就见外了!”“你也帮过我,咱俩扯平了!”“有什么表示啊,小文?”“为什么不感谢扫楼道的大妈?”“嘿嘿,没帮过什么忙,也被感谢,赚了!”“今天好像不是愚人节呀?”“学生气!太酸!”“我是老板,为什么不感谢我?”……


8. 那天,跑了十几公里去看几个老乡,给他们带了好瓶酒和一些小菜。饭间,郑重其事地说,这几年弟兄几个没少帮忙,小弟感激不尽,来,敬几位一杯。哥儿几个没喝,而是异口同声地问:“兄弟,是不是钱又不够了?


9. 那天,我和同学找了一台摄像机,打算拍一部名叫《感恩节》的DV短片。校园里,我们碰到一身材高挑的美女。镜头对准她,问她有没有要感谢的人。美女张口就说:“首先,我要感谢中央电视台给我这个机会。”(我开始冒汗)她继续说:“感谢全国的观众朋友,我一定不会辜负大家的支持。”(我大汗)“感谢各位评委,在年底的舞蹈比赛上……”我急忙打断她,声明我们不是中央电视台,也不是北京电视台、天津电视台等任何一家电视台的……结果,我们在美女刀子般锐利的目光中逃离现场……


10. 话说今天是美国的感恩节,学校放假。赵括没什么打算,照例早早来到研究室。同研究室有个女生,一向来得比较早,打个招呼。不久前买了些栗子,自己做好后带来研究室让大家尝鲜。正和她说话呢,有两个同学来了。他们本打算去纽约游玩,我一看:“哟,还没走啊?

“括哥,能不能打印个东西?”其中一个一脸严肃。

这里做个说明,这学期老师让我搬到个新的研究室来,我来这个研究室还没多长时间,有些东西还没弄妥当。我的电脑连不上研究室的打印机,自然是爱莫能助:“没办法,你去让那个师姐帮帮忙。”

那两个小子神情诡异,无奈地去找那个女生帮忙,我接着在西西河冒泡儿。没几分钟,就听那个女生哈哈大笑起来:“哈哈,你们打印的是脱衣舞的Coupon?!

我这泡儿当然也冒不成了,赶快去看看热闹。那女生笑声未绝:“201212月31日到期,还是过期的!










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