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湖畔居士:<每周一笑>: 本拉登說

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发表于 2010-12-8 23:21:32 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本拉登說:中國是全球唯一絕對不能惹的國家!
Bin Laden said: China is the world&#39;s only country we absolutely cannot mess with




原因是這樣的:基地組織曾派出八名恐怖分子襲擊中國,結果如下:
The reason is this: al-Qaeda terrorists had made 8 attacks on the Chinese with the following results:
*
一人在炸北京西直門立體交通橋時,在橋上迷了路;
&gt; &gt;&gt; One person was to explode a bomb in Beijing Xizhimen (the main northwest gate of Beijing) but he lost his way in the three-dimensional traffic bridge;





  *
一人在上海坐公車自殺炸彈時,擠了兩小時沒擠上車;
&gt; &gt;&gt; One person in Shanghai was to take a bus to explode a  suicide bomb in the bus, but it was so crowded he could not get into a bus even after two hours;




  *一人在武漢炸超市時,炸彈遙控器被偷;
&gt; &gt;&gt; One person was to bomb a supermarket in Wuhan, but found that the bomb’s remote control was stolen;




  *一人在炸成都政府大樓時,在門口被保安當作疆獨份子逮捕、狂揍、逼供;
&gt; &gt;&gt; One person wanted to bomb government buildings in Chengdu, but was stopped at the door by the security staff and arrested as an East Turkistan separatist, and was beaten and interrogated;




  *一人成功地在河北炸礦,死傷數百人,潛回基地組織後,半年都沒見任何到有关新聞報
導,遂被組織以&quot;謊報戰果罪&quot;報處決了;
&gt; &gt;&gt; One person succeeded in bombing a Hebei mine, with hundreds of people dead and wounded, and then returned to the al-Qaeda center, but even after 6 months, failed to see any news reports of the success of the bombing. al-Qaeda accused him of claiming a false victory and executed him!




*一人曾經嘗試炸廣州,結果剛一出火車站,炸藥包就給飛車黨搶了;
&gt; &gt;&gt; One person tried to bomb Guangzhou, but as he came off the train, a motorcycle robber (flying car robber) snatched his bag (containing the bomb) from him;




  *一人剛到西安就失聯,後來在醫院找到人,但卻是在昏迷當中,醫生說他不但吃到 黑心食品,還喝到假酒,可能會成為植物人;
&gt; &gt;&gt; One person who arrived in Xi&#39;an lost contact, and was later found at the hospital in a state of coma.  Doctors said it was the result of him eating not only &quot;black-hearted&quot; food products, but he also drank fake alcohol, and could possibly turn into a &quot;vegetable&quot; (vegetative state);




  *後來,本拉登改派一名女恐怖分子去炸海南島,結果竟然被騙去賣淫!
&gt; &gt;&gt; Later, bin Laden tried to send a female terrorist to blow up Hainan Island, but she was conned into prostitution!




最後,本拉登不得不說:記得!!中國是全球唯一絕對不能惹的國家!
&gt; &gt;&gt; Finally, bin Laden have to say: Remember! ! China is the world&#39;s only country we absolutely cannot mess with!




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发表于 2010-12-9 01:50:48 | 显示全部楼层
居士好杂翁,名至实归。从哪儿网来这么多好笑的段子?笑完了,顿感,回国住住,人山人海,啥也别带,谁也找不到,多安全呐!哈哈。
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匿名  发表于 2010-12-9 12:28:25
Very Funny!  Thanks for sharing!  Please post more!
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匿名  发表于 2010-12-9 14:30:31
真让人---  捧腹大笑!!

本来我要去看医生,为了--------“忧郁症”;
此一贴,令我得了另一毛病-----“傻笑症”!
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匿名  发表于 2010-12-9 16:29:46
n年前看过了。有什么好笑吗?说白了,这是笑你老母的一个贴子。
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匿名  发表于 2010-12-9 16:30:51
n年前看过了。有什么好笑吗?说白了,这是笑你老母亲-- 你的祖国的一个贴子。
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匿名  发表于 2010-12-9 16:39:43
拿自己的祖国来取笑,这值得楼主娇傲吗????
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发表于 2010-12-9 19:26:01 | 显示全部楼层
本拉登狀況還真多.
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匿名  发表于 2010-12-9 19:49:13

回 6楼(游客) 的帖子

你的祖国就是这样的,你倒一点不害臊,还煞有介事啊
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匿名  发表于 2010-12-9 20:21:32
最后,本拉登只能上网大发感叹, 抱怨社会不公, 在别的国家能完成的任务, 偏偏在中国玩儿不转, 你猜怎么着, 他得诺贝尔和平奖了.
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