湖畔居士: 唐诗英译(1)

湖畔居士

前不久, 网友美翼挂了几个"英诗中译"的练习佳作.  我当时就想, 也可以来个"唐诗英译:的练习.
正好回国时友人送了一套"唐诗英译"的书签. 有空时挂上来与有兴趣的网友商酌, 看有没有更好的译法.
下面是第一首:
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<静夜思> - 李白

床前明月光,
疑是地上霜.
举头望明月,
低头思故乡.

英译文

<A Tranquil Night>

Before my bed a pool of light,
Is it hoarfrost upon the ground?
Eyes raised, I see the moon so bright,
Head bent, in homesickness I 'm drowned.

胖胖168

同时想看到BlueSky和xiaofan的译文版本。

美翼传奇

<A Tranquil Night>

Before my bed a pool of light,
Is it hoarfrost upon the ground?
Eyes raised, I see the moon so bright,
Head bent, in homesickness I 'm drowned.

简化：YJS

Bed-front Moon light set
Like frost on ground get  
Eyes raise to face Moon
Is home hardly to forget

看齐，哈哈哈。

湖畔居士

引用第1楼胖胖168于2011-08-22 16:42发表的  :

同时想看到BlueSky和xiaofan的译文版本。

同意! 等着看BlueSky和xiaofan的译文版本。应该是有很多译法的.
谢谢胖胖捧场!

湖畔居士

引用第2楼美翼传奇于2011-08-22 18:40发表的  :
<A Tranquil Night>

Before my bed a pool of light,
Is it hoarfrost upon the ground?
Eyes raised, I see the moon so bright,
.......

美翼, 你的译法有新意啊, 至少整齐. 嘿嘿.
我看了那套书签, 绝大部分都译的不好.  每首唐诗, 都可以有很多译法.
所以挂上来.
你第一句的:"BED-FRONT"英语中不通. 呵呵.

离沙

let me have a quick try:

BEFORE MY BED THE MOONLIGHT SHINE
IS THIS THE FROST  COVERS THIS GROUND?
RAISE MY HEAD I SEE THE MOON BRIGHT
LOW MY HEAD I MISS MY HOME TOWN

or the first line use:
FRONT OF THE BED THE MOONLIGHT SHINE

湖畔居士

引用第5楼离沙于2011-08-22 22:10发表的 回 楼主(湖畔居士) 的帖子 :
let me have a quick try:

BEFORE MY BED THE MOONLIGHT SHINE
IS IT THE HOLY FROST  COVERS THIS GROUND?
RAISE MY HEAD I SEE THE MOON BRIGHT
.......

Very Good.  A job well done! The only weakness is (不压韵). If you can make it more YA-YUN, it will be better.
Thank You!

霜雕红叶

引用第1楼胖胖168于2011-08-22 16:42发表的 :

同时想看到BlueSky和xiaofan的译文版本。

眯兔

离沙

how about this:
FRONT OF THE BED SHINE THE MOONLIGHT
IS THIS THE FROST  COVERS THIS GROUND?
RAISE MY HEAD I FACE THE MOON BRIGHT
LOW MY HEAD I MISS THE  HOME TOWN

thornbird30022

On a Quiet Night

(1). Translation by Y. B. Liang

I saw the moonbeams play before my berth
And wonder if that can be frost on earth.
I raise my head, look at the moon—
I bow my head, think of my home

(2). Translation by Arthur Cooper
Before my bed
There is bright moonlight,
So that it seems Like frost on the ground.
Lift my head, I watch the bright moon,
Lowering my head,
I dream that I'm home.

(3). Translation b y許淵沖
Abed, I see a silvery light,
I wonder if it's frost aground.
Looking up, I find the moon bright;
Bowing, in homesickness I'm drowned.